|“||Joel? JOEL? DID YOU DOWNLOAD BOOBS AGAIN, JOEL!?
Joel, quoting his father in "Joel's Desktop Stripper Story"(src)
Joel Varg Johansson (also known as Vargskelethor, exinthevatican, Jarvison, Uncle Joel or Jobel) is the second-most popular streamer on Vinesauce, next to Vinny himself. Hailing from the freezing realms of Umeå (Sweden), he is known for his incredibly bizarre childhood, teenage experiences, and his Windows Destruction and DOS Madness streams. He is a fan of death metal, MIDI music, skeletons, and "Manime", such as Fist of the North Star and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.
In one of his most popular livestream series, Windows Destruction, he sets up a Virtual Machine with a version of Windows and attempts to fill it up with malware to the point where it is unusable. This has proved difficult on Mac emulations.
Joel also has a Bandcamp account, in which he uploads his own metal songs. His songs can also be found on Spotify underneath Vargskelethor and Scythelord respectively.
Joel first visited Vinesauce around May of 2011. He was on 4chan's /v/ board and saw a post which advertised Vinny's Spore stream. Interested, Joel decided to check out the stream. The viewer-base around that time was estimated to have been 25-50 people. Of course, the acquisition of 25-50 viewers is no small feat. Joel was intrigued by Vinny's stream, and decided to sign up on Chatango. There, he dropped a message on the chat, which was his first confirmed message:
|“||God I hope you're not one of those asshole streamers that doesn't talk to the chat.||”|
Vinny actually responded to Joel's message, and his message came as a surprise, because some of the streams Joel watched didn't respond what-so-ever to the viewers. Because of Vinny's response, Joel stuck around, and started to familiarize himself with the viewers and the streamers. He then started to contribute to the community by making some art, and helped a lot with the community itself. He eventually became a recognized figure, as he was occasionally invited to Vinny's campfire streams, and the less often Super Mario Retardy streams. He made a "total ass of himself." due to him getting drunk. This made the Mario Retardy streams (in)famous. As a result of his antics, viewers started to take a liking to Joel, which was overwhelming to him. He considered it an honor to have a little spot on the Internet that was entertaining, and to have a community treat him with such kindness.
When his popularity was great enough, Vinny personally offered Joel the chance to be a guest streamer for the amount of contributing he did with the site. Joel initially declined the offer, as he described himself as the "Swedish guy that would draw art, laugh and get drunk with you." A few months later, he decided to give streaming a shot, alongside Streamtrap. He started his streaming career around the fall of 2011. During his early months, his accent was much thicker, and he had many funny ways of pronouncing words, such as "Winny," "Wodkas" and "Wampires," which grew into a "meme" of sorts in the community. It took seemingly forever to learn 'good english', but he is still struggling to this day.
His first stream was the 1993 hit Doom, and people enjoyed it enough for Vinny to promote him to "full-time streamer of Vinesauce." He was thrilled, and more people would watch him stream. During his first years, Joel started to stream games such as Metal Gear Solid 2, Half-Life, Grand Theft Auto IV and more. He soon lived up to the lofty title of 'full-time streamer'.
- Main article: 'The Invasion'
On November 4th, 2015, Joel‘s YouTube channel and Twitch channel had been reportedly hacked by the identity Towel, a "hacker" (read: script kiddy) who admits to "hacking" (read: obtained the password via one of the many 2015 data leaks) Markiplier’s Tumblr account, as well as the accounts of various other users. He changed the YouTube avatar and channel name, and uploaded three videos, in which he states that he owns the channel, accompanied with hip-hop music; as well as raiding the chat on his Twitch account, banning almost everyone who commented. Towel also gained access to Livebyfoma (KY)’s Twitch account and deactivated it upon gaining access. Notably, the hacker attempted to divert blame towards a younger YouTube user who had nothing to do with the hijack.
Shortly after, the r/Vinesauce subreddit posted several threads, in which the matter was discussed, only to be locked and replaced by a stickied thread by the moderators. The Vinesauce website had its forums shut down temporarily, due to an increasing amount of threads related to the hack. Reportedly, 4Chan’s /v/ board had also planned a raid towards the hacker, but the thread was deleted, as 4chan does not allow raids to be planned on that board.
On November 10, 2015, Joel regained access to his YouTube and Twitch accounts.
During his childhood and adolescence, Joel has had a series of unfortunate events:
- When Joel was 6 he would create pillow forts in his room and hide in there with his CRT TV and N64. Every time someone came in who wasn't allowed he would make the noise "WRRRRRRRRRRY" at them until they left. This is also the same noise Dio makes in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Joel claims he was a stupid child.
- When he was between 5 and 6 years old, he asked his father what is technology. His father replied to him: "IT'S MAGIC, JOEL! IT'S MAGIC!". Ever since that day, "little Joel was never the same."
- At the age of six, he searched for "fat boobies" on his father's PC, only for his father's work associates to later come round and see his internet search history.
- When he was 7, he and his friends went on to youareanidiot.org in his school. They couldn't get rid of the site. One of his friends, Kevin, tried to close the site. When the teacher walked in she made a "raptor noise." Kevin got the blame and Joel had chicken nuggets. Kevin then disliked Joel.
- When Joel thinks about Sonic the Hedgehog, he always remembers the day where he was once accused of stealing Pokemon cards at age 7. When he went to his "friend's" house, he had the chance to play Sonic, which he did. His friend, who still wore diapers, offered to trade Pokemon cards, and Joel was given 200 cards for free. The next day, his friend, in tears, accused Joel of stealing the cards, was forced to give them back by his mom, and was never friends with "That little diaper shitting Sonic the Hedgehog-Pokemon lying F*CK face."
- Joel once changed his background to a Playboy image of Pamela Anderson. His father was unimpressed, but Joel (fortunately) managed to convince him that he got another virus.
- When Joel was 11, he installed a desktop stripper onto his PC. It sadly turned out to be a speed-up 2-frame .gif of a woman. The speed up made the woman appear as though she was having a seizure. Joel couldn't remove the application from his PC, and had to eventually ask his dad, Kermit, about it, who was very disappointed of him.
- When Joel was a child, he was a fan of "The Phantom", a fairly popular comic book hero in Sweden. A local store was supposedly having some kind of deal with the character's creators to promote milk. Joel arrived expecting to see the real Phantom, but the store had dressed a bald intern up in a Phantom t-shirt, with only "THE LOGO" on it. Ever since then, Joel has found it hard to be impressed by anything short of an apocalyptic monster truck derby. This may be part of what influenced his love for metal.
- When he was at school, he had a friend with "no talent" who would always go to school, log in to the computers, and draw a dick in Microsoft Paint. The teachers yelled at him and the other kid saying what could've been the most popular phrase, "Who's been drawing dicks!?"
- Joel used to believe that trees had emotions and/or feelings. When he was hanging out with his dick-drawing friend, he kicked a tree. Joel, thinking that the kid had hurt the tree, scolded him, telling him that he shouldn't kick trees because of this.
- When Joel was 8 or 9, his half brother secretly watched Total Recall on VHS. When his father found out, his father said "This is what you like to watch, This is what you like watching?! Huh! Huh!". At the same time, he was watching the scene where Arnold went to Mars and made the famous "Eaaghh eaaghh" sound. Joel however was absolutely losing his mind and whenever he watches Total Recall nowadays Joel would forever remember that moment.
- When Joel was little his brother gave him a CD with a Rom collection in it, in the Rom collection there was a SNES Hentai game (possibly Adult Manga 2). Joel's brother forgot the name of the Rom so he told Joel that he shouldn't play any games under the "A" title. Joel accidentally found the Rom but didn't know what it meant so he told his brother and he flipped out.
- When Joel was young he saw one of his friends jump out of a tree around 6 meters above ground, when he jumped, he didn't bend his knees, when he landed, his knees "splattered."
- The first time Joel played Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon for the Nintendo 64 was at a "friend"'s house for a party on his birthday. Joel really hated the kid but he really wanted to play Goemon on his N64. The party guests took numbered turns to play, and the birthday kid gave Joel the last number, because he didn't like Joel either, he only invited him to his birthday party for the sake of having more kids on his party. After all the kids had their turn and it was finally Joel's turn to play Goemon, the birthday kid decided to have the party outside. This caused Joel to be super angry, though he had to hold back his tears. Thus, he waited for everybody to leave the room so he could stay inside playing the Nintendo 64. Until the kid's mom caught him and asked Joel why was he still inside the room, with Joel replying: "Uh... I forgot. Bye," and eventually leaving the room.
- Years later, that same kid would make fun of Joel in high-school for still playing video-games with the phrase "You still like those video-games, eh, Joel? Haha! Video games. Get laid, Joel". Joel was very confused after that.
- Joel's brother who is also a He-Man fan had one of the villain action figures and it gave him nightmares. When his mom said to throw it away if it scared him, he burst into tears.
- One summer, Kermit had the stomach flu. He had to use the toilet and barf at the same time, and being a devout Christian, he yelled "HELP ME JESUS!" in Joel's earshot. When Joel heard him, his blood froze. He feels sorry for him.
- Joel used to make his own Pokemon cards. He would make up his own Pokemon, which were usually just other Pokemons names mixed together, like "Charakip". Kids would buy them for pretty high amounts, up to $10. Joel would purposely sell the really good cards to his friends and sell the really bad cards to the kids he hated. Joel, being the scumbag fraud that he was back then, used the money to buy real Pokemon cards.
- When he was really little, Joel used to throw sand at girls in the playground. One of the girls' parents started yelling at Joel. Joel's mom started defending him, saying "He didn't know any better."
- Joel, as a child, was into Beyblades, which led to a kid stealing his Beyblade. Being coaxed into a fight, Joel learned that the kid lost the Beyblade. The next day, the kid's mom arrived at Joel's house with the kid, forcing her son to buy Joel a new Beyblade. Joel claims this was both the most awesome and most awkward part of his childhood.
- Around his Middle School years, he tried to install Custom Firmware on his PSP. He had to Mod the battery but unfortunately he bricked the console. After bricking the PSP, he set the PSP on fire with his friend on a football field near school and recorded it.
- During the CarnEvil Stream, Joel mentioned he won a Halloween contest by Accident by putting on unrelated glasses leading to the judges to think he was dressed (really well) like Harry Potter. The exact year/time period Joel described this event occuring is when the "Ketchup Song" was popular (2002-2003).
- When The Orange Box was released back in 2007, Joel loved it so much that he skipped classes pretending to be sick, just to play Portal 2, Half-Life 2 and its episodes and Team Fortress 2.
- When Joel was a little fat kid, He could "Run like a motherfucker on fire". His dickish PE teacher had a contest where he paired kids off to race each other. Joel was paired with a kid named Nils (Nils, the child of bakers, was Fat because he ate a cake a day). This made Joel upset, because he knew how fast Joel was. During their race, Nils broke down crying because of how fast Joel was.
- One Halloween, Joel got the box from an ice cream snack, washed it off, cut two holes, attached a string, opened, the back, and went around as "The Ice Cream Monster". He got a rock thrown at his face.
- Once, when young Joel was playing soccer with some friends, one friend pointed out a UFO in the sky. to this day, Joel has a crippling fear of UFOs.
- In Sweden, students dissect squids instead of the more common frogs. Once when Joel was in class, the students were assigned to dissect the squids. A girl screamed in disgust and refused to dissect it. Joel found this incredibly funny.
- When Joel wanted to hang out with one of his friends, he lied about a "secret helicopter" in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Somehow, this turned out to be true, despite Joel pulling it out of his Swedish ass.
- In all seriousness though, Joel and Rev are actually really good friends, and most of their rivalry is just played up for laughs.
- Joel's father is usually portrayed as Kermit the Frog by fan artists, due to the fact that he sounded like him, as mentioned in his video, Sick Kermit.
- When he was a teenager, Joel created a few of his own games, particularly one in early 2007 (last updated in 2009) called "Grill Såsen," also known as "BBQ Quest."
- "BBQ Quest" has been finished officially by Bernie Studios after Joel allowed people to edit it, you may check it out here https://gamejolt.com/games/bbq-quest/138672
- Joel has since started creating a remake/re-imagining of the game and has streamed the music-making process a couple of times.
- The information on the Vinesauce contact site says "The resident merry metalhead, hailing from the freezing realms of northern Sweden. Enjoys retro gaming, alcohol, necromancy and breadsticks. Happiness is a Cigar Called Joel.".
- Joel is a fan of Fist of the North Star and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and Hyperdimension Neptunia.
- Joel is not fond of Dio Brando, the most prominent antagonist of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, breaking his leg. During his stream of The Oregon Trail as part of Super DOS Madness Marathon, one of his settlers, Dio, broke his leg, leading Joel to immediately have flashbacks to the end of Stardust Crusaders, where Dio's death was a result of Jotaro punching his bad leg.
- In August 2015, Joel shaved off all his hair, and allegedly bears an uncanny resemblance to Phil Anselmo.
- Joel's first Windows computer had Windows 2000.
- Joel has type 1 (juvenile) diabetes. It doesn't bother him much; or at least, he's learned to live with it.
- In Part 7 of "Rimworld", it is revealed that Joel has to take insulin shots for his diabetes.
- In the Super Mario Bros. 3 Hardcore Friday stream, Joel explained that the lowest point of his life was when he and his friends were drunk and played Mario is Missing while eating onion rings.
- When Joel was playing Undertale, he was the first to "get dunked on" after the chat suggested him to spare Sans. He's learned not to rely on chat as much since then.
- Joel also seems to have a crush on the character "Undyne", exclaiming that he'd "fuck that fish" and showing disappointment when Undyne and Alphys have revealed their love to each other.
- Despite being in his 20's, fans have noted that Joel sounds older than he does; this is because Joel used to smoke, but has since quit.
- Joel once drank a martini with his eye when he was drunk; He very much regrets it.
- On May 22, 2016, Joel's Twitch account was banned while streaming bootleg games. This was due to an oversight by Twitch staff because the "Now Playing" text on Twitch is limited to games included from the external MobyGames database, a Twitch staffer was surprised to see Joel apparently playing a game called "Fuck You", and immediately assumed that he somehow hacked the Now Playing text to include this profanity. In actuality, "Fuck You" is the name of an obscure Space Invaders clone released by Bay 12 games (also known for Dwarf Fortress).
- Joel mentioned that he doesn't have a driver's license, yet he still sometimes drives a car.
- During his now infamous "Shitty Bootlegs" stream, Joel coined the most well known meme his channel is known for when witnessing a Taiwanese bootleg entitled "Super Mario 7" or more well known as "7 Grand Dad"; this meme has since adopted a cult following and has since coined "The Flintstones Theme" meme.
- During the Russian Bootleg stream, he streamed a Felix the Cat bootleg game, which was seemingly harmless at first, but resulted in a gruesome sight after Joel got a game over. When "Нет" (No in Russian) is selected on the Game Over/Continue screen, the player is shown a photo of Felix ripping his own face in two. This resulted in "Нет" becoming a meme, particularly whenever Joel goes Game Over in any given game and is given the option on whether or not to continue playing.
- A similar thing happened while streaming a Super Mario Bros. bootleg, after he died, he was shown an image of Mario's remains after being devoured by a plant with "piranha tits".
- Joel stated in Part 3 of his Dead Rising stream that he is around 180cm (5'11") and considers himself a "manlet".
- Responding to a comment from the Vinebooru in Part 4 of Joel's GTA: San Andreas stream, Joel revealed that he is "A true Swede" and has blue eyes.
- Joel watches and loves AVGN. Whenever Mike Matei appears in chat during one of Joel's streams, he always tries to act cool when in reality he's screaming like a girl on the inside.
- Joel adores the BBQ Pit Boys and would love to meet them one day.
- He doesn't like the atmosphere of Starbucks, he thinks it "makes you feel like you're in a commercial.".
- Joel prefers black coffee to every other type of coffee. But has since stopped drinking coffee and has now switched to energy drinks.
- The reason for his switch to energy drinks was revealed during a Rocksmith stream that coffee upsets his stomach and makes him anxious.
- Joel learned English by reading Swedish subtitles on English television, movies, and video games.
- Joel once saved a hedgehog from being run over.
- Joel once saw a man say, in Swedish, "Can you give me a tasteless food?".
- Joel once rode a bike when he was sick with the flu. He rode it so fast that he puked and it flew into his face.
- Joel's grandma would rub alcohol on the spiders in her house to kill them.
- Joel has something known as the "AVGN Syndrome" (Named after the man himself), it's identified by someone who can do incredibly well at old games (Like how Joel is very skilled at Battletoads and Top Gun, both for the NES.), but can not do so much well at new games.
- Another term similar to this is "Idiot Savant", used to describe animators like Spazkid.
- Joel's middle name, Varg, is Swedish for "wolf".
- Joel's official religion is agnosticism.
- Joel has claimed before to have a "plumber ass" and that he feels ashamed by that fact.
- Joel has mentioned on numerous occasions during streams (most noticeably his Vinewrestle charity streams) that he is mildly overweight.
- Joel never leaves his house without his sunglasses, according to his Clubhouse Games stream.
- Joel prefers legs to ass and tits as revealed in a Reddit AMA.
- Joel HATES Archviles in the Doom Series, it is unknown how he came to hate these things but it could possibly be PTSD from The Plutonia Expriment, an official add-on for Doom II infamous for its 11th map, Hunted, where the player is trapped in a maze with only Archviles. Much to Joel's Dismay, every doom map contest has trolled him with the usage or Archviles.
- Joel is similar to YouTube commenter Yuuki Takemoto. Both are not American and have similar strange childhoods.
- "Mario 7? Was that the one I played? Well let's check it out... GRAND DAD. FLEENSTONEZ?!"
- "Nut Boys."
- Some memes i don't really fuciking remember please add some that i couldn't recall.
- Duki Nuki
- "BBQ Pit Boys."
- "Tornado Twister/Twister Zone."
- "Pussy Destroyer."
- "No I'm not _____, I'm Sweden"
- Bad spelin
- Doctor Amigo
- Kermit the frog
- Bulk Bogan
- Bonzi Buddy.
- CBT Wizard
- UFO PORNOOOOOO
- Uh oh, Stinky
- Tom the Turkey
- haha Play Hdoom
- archvile hate
- crundlequest 5
- stanky bootlegs
- loud nigra
- EXPAND DONG
- nono zone
- beef zone
- bone zone
- Stone Cold Steve Austin
- energy zone
- pidgeon milking
- complete global lactation
- hotel mario brazillian dub
- plz com to brasil
- super ghost busters great value
- its heem boys
- the shockmaster.
- todd howard
- what a handsy boi
- Big Juice
- fat boobies
- Super Mario boner pills
- chicken nuggets
- "Check the Bathroom"
- bbq quest
- Smol eyeballs
- Joel gets meaner everyday
- Powering up the Jack off crystals
- Pigeon Tekno
- Dark Luigi
- blue shell incident
- bye bye norway
- the pizza he-man eat it
- "This guy's English is awful"
- Put it in the cornucopia
- LOOK AT THIS SKOODLEY DORT
- Shnappi Skeleton
- Soulcalibur III
- Schnip Schnap
- Mug Moment
- DLL files
- Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites (MIDI)
- That Tim Curry Halloween video